Performance Anxiety and Holiday Intimacy: When You Need a Sex Therapist. Sex therapy in Scottsdale, az that supports healing
The holiday season can be a fun and loving time of year. But for many people, it can also bring stress. Family visits, busy schedules, travel, and extra pressure can make it hard to relax. And when your body is stressed, it can affect your intimacy with your partner.
One common issue that shows up during the holidays is performance anxiety. Performance anxiety is when you worry so much about how you will “perform” during sex that it becomes hard to stay present or enjoy the moment. This can lead to problems like losing an erection, feeling disconnected, or avoiding sex because it feels scary or stressful.
If you are dealing with performance anxiety or erectile dysfunction in Scottsdale, you are not alone. Many people turn to individual sex therapy, sexual wellness therapy, couples sex and intimacy therapy or EMDR during the holidays because they want to feel close and confident again.
This blog will help you understand performance anxiety, why it gets worse during the holidays, and how a sex therapist can support you in feeling safe, calm, and connected again.
What Is Performance Anxiety?
Performance anxiety happens when your mind gets stuck in worry. Instead of feeling pleasure, your body goes into “stress mode.” Your brain tries to protect you, but the stress makes intimacy harder.
Some signs of performance anxiety include:
Trouble getting or keeping an erection
Feeling afraid of disappointing your partner
Having a hard time staying focused during sex
Not being able to relax
Feeling embarrassed, stressed, or “in your head”
Avoiding sex to prevent anxiety
Performance anxiety does NOT mean something is wrong with you. It means your body is stressed, scared, or overwhelmed—and it needs help and care, not shame.
Why the Holidays Make Performance Anxiety Worse
Even though holidays look fun on the outside, they can bring a lot of pressure. This pressure affects your mind and body.
You may notice things like:
Less privacy when staying with family
Big meals and alcohol affect sexual function
Feeling stressed about money
Feeling worried about your body
Being tired from social events
Feeling pressure to “be in the mood”
Feeling disconnected from your normal routine
Your nervous system cannot feel stressed and sexual at the same time. So if you feel pressure during the holidays, your body may have a hard time staying calm during intimacy.
This is normal. It is not a failure. It is your body asking for support.
When It’s Time to See a Sex Therapist
If performance anxiety keeps happening, it may start to affect your relationship. You may hide your stress, avoid sex, or feel more and more worried over time. This can create distance between you and your partner.
A sex therapist can help you understand why your anxiety is happening and how to feel safe in your body again. Sex therapy is a safe, shame-free space where you can talk about your worries, fears, and stress without judgment.
A sex therapist can help you:
Learn calming tools
Slow down your body’s stress response
Build confidence in your body
Talk openly with your partner
Understand the emotional side of sexual wellness
Work through old beliefs or past experiences
Find joy and pleasure again
If you’re searching for help with erectile dysfunction in Scottsdale, or you want support from someone who understands intimacy, trauma, and anxiety, sex therapy can make a huge difference.
Online sex Therapy for Performance Anxiety in scottsdale, az
Many people feel nervous seeing a therapist in person, especially about something as personal as intimacy. That’s why online therapy is a great option.
With online therapy, you can:
Talk from the comfort of your home
Skip the drive or waiting room
Feel less pressure or embarrassment
Get steady help even during holiday travel
Build trust at your own pace
Online therapy works especially well for performance anxiety because feeling relaxed and safe is key to healing.
Using EMDR for Performance Anxiety in scottsdale, az
Some people experience performance anxiety because of past hurt, shame, trauma, or pressure. EMDR can help with this.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps the brain heal from stressful or upsetting memories. It helps your brain see that old fears are in the past—not happening right now.
EMDR can help with:
Fear of failure
Old sexual shame
Anxiety from past relationships
Pressure to “perform”
Feelings of embarrassment
Body image worries
When EMDR is used for performance anxiety, it helps your mind and body feel safe again. When your body feels safe, intimacy becomes easier, calmer, and more enjoyable.
You Deserve Peace and Pleasure This Holiday Season
Erectile dysfunction isn’t just about what’s happening physically. It can affect your confidence, relationships, and sense of self. At The Connection Couch, we take a compassionate, whole-person approach to erectile dysfunction in Scottsdale, helping you explore the emotional, relational, and psychological layers without shame or judgment.
You don’t have to keep this to yourself. There’s support, and there’s hope.
Here’s how to begin:
Schedule a free consultation to talk about your experience and how sex therapy can help.
Book your first sex therapy session and begin working through the emotional roadblocks that may be impacting your intimacy.
Start rebuilding connection and confidence in a space where your story is met with care, not stigma.
You’re not broken. You just deserve support that addresses the whole picture.
Compassionate, Inclusive Sex Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ and Online
At our Scottsdale-based practice, we provide sex therapy that honors your individuality and fosters connection, whether you're navigating intimacy on your own or with a partner. Our work is rooted in respect, warmth, and creating a space where all identities and experiences are welcome.
We also support clients through trauma-informed care for those healing from sexual trauma, PTSD, and complex trauma, painful sex, and BDSM/kink-friendly therapy. Every session is tailored to meet you where you are, empowering you to move forward with clarity, safety, and self-trust.
Beyond Scottsdale, I also serve Paradise Valley, Phoenix, Tucson, Queen Creek, Gilbert, Salt Lake City, Park City, and Alpine, Utah.
About the Author: A Reliable Sex Therapist in Scottsdale, AZ
Holly Nelson is a Licensed Professional Counselor practicing sex therapy in Scottsdale, Arizona. She specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from sexual shame, performance anxiety, and trauma. Holly believes in creating a warm, nonjudgmental space where clients can reconnect with their bodies, desires, and partners to build the sex lives they truly want.
Holly has been featured in major publications such as HuffPost, Stylist’s Strong Women, Well Beings News, and VoyagePhoenix. Through her practice, The Connection Couch, Holly offers compassionate, trauma-informed care that empowers clients to embrace their sexuality with confidence and ease.
For more information, visit The Connection Couch or reach out to schedule a session today.