How to Honor Your Boundaries After Sexual Trauma During the Holiday Season (Sex Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ)
The holiday season can feel warm and full of joy. But if you are a survivor of sexual trauma, this time of year can also bring up stress, memories, or feelings you didn’t expect. Big groups, family pressure, and holiday events can be overwhelming—especially when your body is still healing.
If you live in or near Scottsdale, AZ, and you’re working on rebuilding safety and trust in your body, you are not alone. Many people seek sex therapy in Scottsdale, AZ, during the holidays because this season can be triggering.
This guide will help you honor your boundaries, protect your peace, and stay connected to your healing.
Why Boundaries Matter After Sexual Trauma
Healing after sexual trauma often means learning how to listen to your body again. The holidays can make it harder because:
Family members may push for hugs
Loud or crowded events can feel unsafe
Old memories can come up
You may feel pressure to “be okay”
Healthy boundaries help you stay connected to your sexual wellness, emotional safety, and sense of control.
Boundaries are not rude. They are kind. They protect your healing.
1. Check In With Your Body First
Before saying yes to a holiday plan, pause and ask:
Does this feel safe?
Is my body relaxed or tight?
Am I saying yes because I want to—or because I feel pressured?
If you feel tension in your shoulders, a pit in your stomach, or a frozen feeling in your chest, your body might be warning you.
Your body deserves to feel safe. You can protect it.
2. Set Clear Boundaries Before Events
You do not have to share your trauma history. Simple statements work:
“I won’t be staying long.”
“I’m not hugging today.”
“I’m not discussing relationships right now.”
“I need a quiet break.”
If you live in Scottsdale, AZ, and family or friends come into town for the holidays, setting boundaries early can help you feel more in control during visits.
3. Give Yourself Permission to Say No
Many survivors grew up learning that “no” was not allowed. But now, it is your strongest tool.
You can say no to:
Events that feel overwhelming
Being touched if you do not want to be
Conversations that are triggering
Family members who ignore your boundaries
Staying longer than you want
“No” is not mean.
“No” is protective.
“No” gives your healing room to grow.
4. Create an Exit Plan That Helps You Feel Safe
If you decide to attend a holiday event, having a plan can help your nervous system relax.
You can:
Drive your own car so you can leave anytime
Step outside for air
Take a quiet moment in the bathroom
Sit near someone who feels safe
Text a supportive friend
Having choices is healing—especially when trauma took choices away.
5. Build a Holiday “Safety Team”
Your holiday safety team can include:
A trusted friend
A partner
A sibling
A therapist
Let them know:
What helps you feel calm
What signs show you’re overwhelmed
How they can support you
If you’re working with a sex therapy provider or doing EMDR sexual trauma therapy in Scottsdale, AZ, your therapist can help you make a personal holiday safety plan.
6. Try Grounding Tools When You Feel Triggered
Holiday stress can activate old trauma reactions. These grounding tools can help:
Deep belly breathing
List 5 things you see
Holding a warm drink
Feeling your feet on the floor
Smelling something calming
A gentle self-hug
These tools help bring your body back to the present moment so you feel more connected and safe.
7. Create New Holiday Traditions That Feel Good
If old traditions are stressful or painful, you are free to create new ones.
You might enjoy:
A quiet morning walk in Scottsdale
A movie night with someone you trust
A cozy day in pajamas
Lighting a candle to honor your healing
A calm night with comforting foods
A solo day for rest and peace
You deserve holidays that feel safe and gentle.
8. Honor Your Healing Without Shame
Healing from sexual trauma is brave. If you need extra rest, space, or support this season, that is not weakness—it is wisdom.
Whether you’re working on grounding skills, practicing new boundaries, or exploring sex therapy in Scottsdale, AZ, every step you take matters. You deserve support, compassion, and safety during the holidays.
Choosing the Right EMDR-Certified online Therapist in Scottsdale, AZ
When you look for EMDR therapy near you, it’s important to find someone who is EMDR-certified, not just trained. Being certified means the therapist has done advanced training, met higher standards, and has lots of practice using EMDR in a safe and helpful way.
As an EMDR-certified therapist in Scottsdale, AZ, I use EMDR to help people heal from many kinds of struggles. This includes trauma, body image worries, sexual shame, relationship stress, and anxiety. My goal is to help you process the things that are holding you back so you can feel more joy, confidence, and safety in your body again.
If you’re ready to build healthier boundaries, feel safer in your body, or explore tools that support your sexual wellness, I can help.
I also support individuals and couples struggling with:
Sexual concerns
In addition to Scottsdale, I also serve:
Paradise Valley, Phoenix, Tucson, Queen Creek, Gilbert, Salt Lake City, Park City, and Alpine, Utah.
How to Begin online EMDR Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ
If you are ready to move out of survival mode, The Connection Couch is here to help. I offer PTSD therapy, EMDR therapy, and sexual trauma therapy in person in Scottsdale, AZ, and online all across Arizona and Utah.
Here’s how to get started:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
This helps us talk about your concerns and figure out whether we are a good fit.Book your first session.
This is where your healing work begins and where we start building safety, connection, and renewed intimacy.
If you want to learn more about how EMDR trauma therapy can support your healing or your relationship, you can reach out anytime.
About the Author
Holly Nelson, LPC, NCC, is a sex therapist (in progress) in Scottsdale, AZ, and the founder of The Connection Couch. Holly specializes in sexual trauma recovery, EMDR, sexual wellness, and helping individuals and couples rebuild trust, intimacy, and connection after trauma. Her work is compassionate, inclusive, and centered on helping survivors feel safe in their bodies again.