Is Sexual Trauma Therapy Right for Me? Signs It May Help with a scottsdale sex therapist (in progress)
Many people carry pain from sexual experiences they never talk about.
Sexual trauma can come from many places. It may be from abuse, assault, coercion, medical trauma, or repeated experiences where your body did not feel safe or respected. Some people remember clear events. Others only feel the effects years later.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Do I really need sexual trauma therapy?” you’re not alone. This question is common—and very human.
This blog will help you understand what sexual trauma therapy is and share signs that it may help you heal.
What Is Sexual Trauma Therapy?
Sexual trauma therapy is a type of therapy that helps people heal from sexual experiences that felt unsafe, overwhelming, or harmful.
This therapy is not about forcing you to talk before you’re ready. It’s about helping your body and mind feel safe again.
Sexual trauma therapy may include:
Talk therapy
Body-based coping skills
The goal is not to erase the past. The goal is to help the past stop controlling the present.
You Don’t Have to “Have It That Bad” to Get Help
One of the biggest myths about trauma therapy is this:
“Other people had it worse, so I shouldn’t need help.”
Trauma is not about how bad something looks from the outside. Trauma is about how your body and nervous system were affected.
If an experience still causes fear, shame, pain, or distress, it matters.
Signs Sexual Trauma Therapy May Help You
Here are common signs that sexual trauma therapy could be supportive for you.
1. Sex Feels Stressful, Not Enjoyable
If sex feels tense, scary, painful, or emotionally distant, trauma may be playing a role.
You might notice:
Freezing or going numb during sex
Wanting sex mentally but not physically
Feeling pressure or panic when intimacy starts
Sex therapy and sexual trauma therapy help make intimacy feel safer and more choice-based.
2. You Avoid Physical or Emotional Intimacy
Avoidance is a very common trauma response.
You may:
Avoid sex altogether
Pull away from touch
Feel uncomfortable with closeness
Get irritated when a partner wants intimacy
This doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner. It often means your nervous system is trying to protect you.
3. Your Body Reacts Even When You Feel “Fine” Mentally
Trauma lives in the body, not just the mind.
You might experience:
Tightness
Trouble with arousal or orgasm
Problems with keeping an erection
Nausea, shaking, or shutting down
EMDR sexual trauma therapy can help the body process stored trauma so these reactions lessen over time.
4. You Feel Shame or Guilt About Sex
Many people with sexual trauma carry deep shame—even when they logically know it’s not their fault.
You may think:
“Something is wrong with me.”
“I should be over this.”
“I’m broken.”
Sexual trauma therapy helps untangle shame and replace it with compassion and understanding.
5. Certain Touches, Smells, or Situations Trigger You
Triggers are reminders—often subtle—that tell your body you’re not safe, even when you are.
Triggers can include:
Certain positions
A tone of voice
Being watched
Medical exams
Loss of control
Trauma therapy helps reduce the power of these triggers so you feel more in control.
6. Trauma Is Affecting Your Relationship
Sexual trauma doesn’t only affect individuals—it can affect relationships too.
You might notice:
Fights about sex
Feeling misunderstood by your partner
Guilt for “holding the relationship back”
Pressure to perform
Couples sex and intimacy therapy can be helpful when trauma impacts intimacy, communication, or trust.
How EMDR Trauma Therapy Helps With Sexual Trauma in scottsdale, az
EMDR trauma therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a well-researched approach for trauma healing.
EMDR helps the brain:
Reprocess painful memories
Reduce emotional intensity
Create new, healthier connections
You don’t have to share every detail out loud. EMDR works with how the brain stores trauma, not just what you remember.
Many people choose EMDR as part of sexual trauma therapy because it can be gentle and effective.
What Sexual Trauma Therapy Is NOT
It’s important to know what therapy will not do.
Sexual trauma therapy will not:
Force you to talk before you’re ready
Push you to have sex
Blame you for what happened
Rush your healing
Good sex therapy moves at your pace.
Can I Do Sexual Trauma Therapy While in a Relationship?
Yes. Many people heal trauma while partnered.
In some cases, couples sex and intimacy therapy is added to help:
Improve communication
Reduce pressure around sex
Help partners understand trauma responses
Rebuild trust and safety
Healing does not mean doing it alone.
What If I’m Not Sure Yet?
You don’t need to be certain before starting therapy.
It’s okay to say:
“I don’t know if this counts as trauma.”
“I just know something feels off.”
“I want sex to feel better.”
That curiosity alone is enough.
You Deserve Support and Safety
If sexual trauma is affecting your body, your sex life, or your relationships, help is available.
Sexual trauma therapy, sex therapy, couples sex therapy, and EMDR trauma therapy are all tools designed to help you feel safe, connected, and whole again.
Healing is not about becoming someone new.
It’s about coming back to yourself.
And you deserve that.
Ready to Start Healing in scottsdale, az
If you're looking for support from someone who understands how trauma impacts the body, mind, and intimacy, you're in the right place. At The Connection Couch, we offer trauma-informed therapy, including EMDR, R-TEP, and EMDR Intensives, to help survivors reclaim their bodies, rebuild trust, and move toward joy again.
As you take steps toward healing, remember that you are not alone and healing is possible. You are entitled to safety and all the pleasure your body can experience. At The Connection Couch, we are qualified to support you every step of the way. Follow these steps to start your journey toward reclaiming safety, pleasure, and connection within your body:
Arrange your first sex therapy appointment and get started
Discover how sex therapy can help you heal from sexual trauma at your own pace.
Additionally, I work with PTSD, painful sex, performance anxiety, individual sex therapy, BDSM/kink, and couples sex therapy.
Reach out to Holly Nelson at holly@theconnectioncouch.com
Follow along on TikTok for trauma-informed education: @sextherapywithholly
Beyond Scottsdale, I also serve Paradise Valley, Phoenix, Tucson, Queen Creek, Gilbert, Salt Lake City, Park City, and Alpine, Utah.