Overcoming Intersex Medical and Sexual Trauma: The Power of Online EMDR Sex Therapy In Scottsdale, AZ
Hey, y’all, I am super excited to write and raise awareness about this month's topic on intersex people and the traumas they face. I am writing in honor of Intersex Awareness Day, which falls on October 26th every year. This group of people deserves more visibility and recognition for the discrimination and traumas they can face at birth for simply existing. Yes, you read that correctly; they can experience abuse and mistreatment as innocent, sweet babies from day one and on.
Let's take a moment to review the basics and ensure we all have a clear understanding of what Intersex means. Intersex is a term used to describe individuals whose biological sex characteristics do not fit typical definitions of male or female. This can involve variations in chromosomes, gonads, hormones, or genitalia. Intersex traits can be present at birth or become more apparent later on in life. It’s important to note that being intersex is a naturally occurring variation in humans and not a medical condition. 1-2% of the population is intersex; this is as common as every redhead that you have ever seen.
Say it again for those in the back!
I repeat, 1-2 in 100 people are intersex. So why is it that most of us have never heard about this group of people and their traumas until now? One word, stigma, I’ll get to that later. For now, let’s have a quick science lesson taught by yours truly.
Biology 101
If you are anything like me (I failed basic biology twice in college), you may need a refresher on the differences between sex and gender. Sex refers to biological differences between males and females based on physical attributes such as chromosomes, hormone levels, and reproductive/sexual anatomy. For example, females typically have two X chromosomes (XX), and males typically have one X and Y chromosome (XY). Again, the primary categories of sex are male and female, but some intersex individuals have a combination of male and female biological traits or differences in sex development.
Gender refers to the roles, behaviors, activities, expectations, and identities that societies and cultures consider appropriate for men, women, and other gender identities. It is a social construct, not inherently tied to biological sex. Gender identity can be male, female, a combination of both, neither, or something else entirely, such as nonbinary, genderqueer, or transgender. Gender is more fluid than sex. People can identify with a gender assigned at birth (also known as cisgender), and some may identify as a gender that does not fit within the traditional male/female binary.
Where we begin to run into trouble
The Diablo himself, the gender binary, is a classification system that divides gender into two distinct, strict, and opposite categories: man and woman. This framework assumes that only two genders are associated with specific roles, behaviors, identities, and attributes. This harms not only cisgender men and women (which is a different topic for a different day) but anyone who does not fit nicely into those two rigid, cramped, claustrophobic, and downright dull boxes. It opens up gender-diverse people to many different forms of discrimination.
Human Rights Violations
Because intersex bodies are viewed as different from the gender binary, they are subject to multiple human rights violations, especially when it comes to seeking healthcare. One of the most concerning is unnecessary, non-consensual medical interventions. Circumcision aside (again, another topic for a different day), genital surgery is happening on minors today.
Since the 1950s, standard treatment has involved determining a sex for these intersex infants and performing surgery to make the infant's genitals fit more “normally” with the gender binary. Post-surgical complications include scarring, chronic pain, loss of sensation, and urinary and sexual dysfunction. Parents of intersex children are lied to about their child’s “condition.” The risks and long-term impacts of the surgeries are not fully disclosed, meaning consent is not fully informed.
Yikes is right!
And on a more horrifying level, parents and physicians fail to divulge the truth about their medical histories to intersex children. Leaving many intersex children to uncover the truth about their identity later on in life, after having undergone multiple surgeries that have serious long-term complications due to our society’s discomfort with anything that is outside of the “normal” binary.
Rather than normalizing diversity, providing the public with accurate medical information, and including intersex people in research that accounts for all diversity, we are condemning this vulnerable group of people to isolation, secrecy, invisibility, identity erasure, and shame, which can have lasting impacts on their mental health. Intersex people are at an increased risk of developing PTSD, depression, and anxiety.
The Path To Healing
Addressing these sources of medical and sexual trauma involves promoting greater awareness, acceptance, and respect for intersex variations, advocating for informed consent and bodily autonomy, and providing appropriate medical, psychological, and social support. The malpractice must end. Those who continue to perpetuate harmful stereotypes and perform these damaging surgeries must be held accountable.
Treatment modalities such as EMDR, somatic experiencing, sex therapy, and pelvic floor therapy are most beneficial in treating the traumas intersex people have faced.
How Online EMDR Can Support Trauma Healing for Intersex Individuals in Scottsdale, az
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy offers a powerful, trauma-informed way to process these painful memories. EMDR doesn’t require someone to talk in detail about their trauma—making it especially helpful for those who have felt silenced or shamed. Instead, it helps the brain reprocess distressing events so they no longer feel as emotionally triggering in the present.
Online EMDR therapy can be especially supportive for intersex clients who may feel safer accessing care from the comfort and privacy of their own homes. Online therapy sessions allow for more control over the environment, which can be empowering for those with medical trauma or anxiety about in-person settings. With the right therapist, online EMDR can help intersex individuals reconnect with their bodies, reduce distress, and begin to reclaim their sense of identity and worth.
If you are an intersex person who is struggling with coming to terms with your identity and the medical abuse that you have faced, you need to know that you did not need those experiences to become the amazing person that you have always been. What has happened to you and how you have been treated is wrong. There is nothing wrong with you; it is our culture that is sick and needs fixing. Diversity is normal and should be celebrated for all the uniqueness and exquisite beauty it brings to our planet, sending acceptance, love, and healing your way!
Ready to Start Healing?
If you're looking for support from someone who understands how trauma impacts the body, mind, and intimacy, you're in the right place. At The Connection Couch, we offer trauma-informed therapy, including EMDR, R-TEP, and EMDR Intensives, to help survivors reclaim their bodies, rebuild trust, and move toward joy again.
As you take steps toward healing, remember that you are not alone and healing is possible. You are entitled to safety and all the pleasure your body can experience. At The Connection Couch, we are qualified to support you every step of the way. Follow these steps to start your journey toward reclaiming safety, pleasure, and connection within your body:
Arrange your first sex therapy appointment and get started
Discover how sex therapy can help you heal from sexual trauma and medical trauma at your own pace.
—You don’t have to go through it alone. Online EMDR can help you begin healing in a way that feels safe, empowering, and affirming.
Reach out to Holly Nelson at holly@theconnectioncouch.com
Follow along on TikTok for trauma-informed education: @sextherapywithholly
At our Scottsdale practice, we offer sex therapy that’s inclusive, respectful, and grounded in compassion for both individuals and couples with PTSD, painful sex, erectile dysfunction, and BDSM/kink. Whether you're exploring personal challenges around intimacy or working to deepen connection with a partner, we provide a nonjudgmental, affirming space where you can unpack what’s important to you.
Beyond Scottsdale, I also serve Paradise Valley, Phoenix, Tucson, Queen Creek, Gilbert, Salt Lake City, Park City, and Alpine, Utah.
About the Author
Holly Nelson, LPC, NCC, EMDR Certified, & AASECT Sex Therapist (in training)
Holly is a licensed professional counselor and sex therapist in Scottsdale, Arizona, and the founder of The Connection Couch. She specializes in helping people heal from sexual trauma, explore their identities free from shame, and create deeply connected relationships. Her work is rooted in compassion, inclusivity, and a belief that pleasure and safety are for everyone—including intersex folks and those often left out of traditional therapy spaces.
Holly has been featured in major publications such as HuffPost, Stylist’s Strong Women, and VoyagePhoenix. Through her practice, The Connection Couch, Holly offers compassionate, trauma-informed care that empowers clients to embrace their sexuality with confidence and ease.
🌈 LGBTQ+ Resources in Phoenix & Scottsdale from a sex therapist (in progress)
1. one·n·ten
A nonprofit dedicated to serving LGBTQ+ youth and young adults (ages 11–24) across Arizona. They offer weekly discussion groups, life skills programs, housing assistance, and a welcoming downtown Phoenix youth center. one•n•ten
2. Phoenix Pride
Beyond hosting the annual Pride Festival, Phoenix Pride maintains a comprehensive directory of local LGBTQ+ resources, including social groups, health services, and affirming faith-based organizations. www.phoenixpride.com
3. Trans Spectrum of Arizona
This organization provides peer-led support groups and community events for transgender and gender non-conforming individuals, fostering a safe and welcoming environment. bbbsaz.org
4. Equality Arizona
A statewide nonprofit focused on advocating for the civil rights and social equality of LGBTQ+ Arizonans through civic engagement, community building, and education. Equality Arizona
5. Gay for Good – Phoenix Chapter
Mobilizes LGBTQ+ and ally volunteers to promote diversity and inclusion through community service projects across the Phoenix area. Gay for Good | LGBTQ+ Volunteer Network
6. The LGBTQ Consortium
A collaborative network of organizations and individuals working together to support and empower the LGBTQ+ community in Arizona.
7. Mama Dragons
A supportive group for mothers of LGBTQ+ children, offering resources and community for affirming parenting, including regional subgroups and educational programs.