Reclaiming Your Body: EMDR for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Trauma, Scottsdale, AZ, Trauma-Informed Sex Therapy
Content warning: This page contains information about sexual violence and may be triggering if you have recently experienced sexual assault of any kind.
Healing from childhood sexual abuse trauma is one of the most challenging and deeply personal journeys a person can undertake. If you are reading this, chances are you are seeking solace, understanding, or perhaps a reminder that healing and relief from the pain of such a terrible experience is possible. Please know you are not alone, and feeling vulnerable, confused, or uncertain about the path ahead is okay.
Healing doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t follow a linear path. But with time, patience, and the proper support, it’s possible to reconnect with yourself, regain your sense of safety, and rebuild your life with strength and hope. In this post, I want to share some thoughts on the healing process—its challenges, moments of grace, and, most importantly, its potential for transformation. Wherever you are in your journey, this space is for you.
Understanding Childhood Sexual Abuse: Key Facts
Childhood sexual trauma is a heartbreaking reality that affects millions of children each year, and it’s important to approach the topic with both compassion and awareness. While each survivor’s experience is unique, some key facts can help us better understand the impact of this trauma.
First, most abuse happens within families or among trusted individuals like family, friends, or neighbors, not strangers. This makes it even harder for children to speak up, as the abuser often has authority, trust, or control over them. Many survivors don’t disclose the abuse immediately—or at all—due to fear, shame, or manipulation by the abuser. Sadly, children are often silenced because of threats or emotional coercion.
The emotional and psychological effects of childhood sexual trauma can be far-reaching. Survivors may struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, or difficulties in their relationships, especially when it comes to trust and intimacy. Sexual behavior can also be impacted, and survivors may experience confusion, arousal issues, or discomfort in sexual situations.
It’s important to know that no child is to blame for the abuse they endure. Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background, and it’s never the survivor’s fault. Understanding this helps in supporting survivors as they work toward healing and recovery.
Lastly, healing is possible. With the right support—such as therapy, understanding relationships, and trauma-informed care—survivors can rebuild their sense of self-worth, trust, and sexual identity. Compassion and awareness are essential in creating an environment where healing can truly begin.
The brain after childhood sexual Trauma
Trauma is like an injury to both the brain and the nervous system. It leaves lasting imprints if it goes untreated. Imagine if you broke your leg and did not take the appropriate steps to help it heal, such as seeing a doctor, getting a cast, going to physical therapy, etc. The long-term impact of ignoring your broken leg would cause you problems for years to come and limit your quality of life.
When sexual trauma goes untreated, it can profoundly affect the brain, especially areas that help us stay calm and focused. The amygdala, a part of the brain that triggers the “fight or flight” response, can become overactive and enlarge. This causes your nervous system to stay in a constant state of alert, always on watch, even when you’re no longer in a dangerous environment (imagine having to run from a lion 24/7). It sounds pretty exhausting and impossible to sustain, right? This response is meant to keep you safe in the moment, but when the threat is gone, the amygdala doesn’t always know how to "turn off." As a result, your stress response continues, and you may experience symptoms like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, or PTSD.
This heightened state of alertness can also drain your energy and make it harder to focus, organize, or plan, as the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for these functions—struggles to work effectively. Trauma can also affect the Hippocampus, which is responsible for encoding memories, making it difficult to remember things clearly. It can also impact Broca’s area of the brain, which controls speech production and comprehension, making it difficult for survivors to find the words needed to express themselves.
The good news is that healing is possible with the proper support and interventions. Our brains and bodies possess an incredible ability to regenerate and recover; when we provide them with the right tools and care, they can begin to rewire and heal. With the proper help, the brain is ready to start the healing process, working alongside the body’s natural resilience to restore balance and well-being. Healing takes time, but the potential for recovery is always there.
Sexual challenges survivors experience
Childhood sexual trauma can affect our relationship with sexuality in different ways, and it’s essential to recognize that each person’s experience is unique. For some, the trauma may lead to hypersexuality or hyperarousal—a way of seeking validation or proving worth through sexual activity, often without healthy sexual boundaries.
On the other hand, some survivors may choose to avoid sex altogether or abstain as a way to protect themselves from the pain or confusion linked to their past. Others may find themselves engaging in sex but feeling emotionally distant, often dissociating or trying to please others instead of being present with their own needs and desires.
Understanding our sexual desires and what we’re attracted to can feel confusing, especially after experiencing childhood sexual abuse. Many survivors struggle with the belief that their sexuality is somehow wrong or shameful, often associating their desires with the pain and trauma they’ve endured. It's important to recognize that these feelings are a natural response to trauma, not a reflection of who you truly are. With time, healing, and support, you can begin to reconnect with your sexuality in a way that feels safe, healthy, and empowering. Healing our relationship with sex is usually one of the final steps in recovering from childhood sexual abuse.
Healing our relationship with sex after abuse involves shifting from a place of obligation to a place of choice, where we act based on our desires, pleasure, and needs. It’s essential to pause and reflect: Where is this coming from? Does obligation drive it, or does it truly excite you? What need is being fulfilled in that moment?
As we heal, it's essential to understand that our views on sexuality should naturally evolve as we grow and change. We have the power to rewrite our sexual script—one that is authentic to who we are, not shaped by societal expectations or the trauma we've experienced. What we find pleasurable or exciting at 17 may look different when we’re 30, and that’s how it should be. Allowing our sexual selves to evolve is part of embracing our full humanity and reclaiming a healthy, empowered relationship with our sexuality after trauma.
Does childhood sexual abuse change sexual orientation?
Sexual trauma does not "cause" someone to become gay, bisexual, or straight. Sexual orientation is an inherent and natural part of who someone is, and it typically remains consistent throughout a person’s life. This is more so true for men; research on women’s sexuality shows that they are more fluid throughout their lifespan. Abuse can impact how someone expresses their sexuality or relates to intimacy, but it does not change their core sexual orientation.
Trauma can lead to confusion about sexual identity and desire. Survivors of childhood sexual abuse might feel conflicted or uncertain about their feelings toward others. This is often because the trauma they experienced has shaped how they view themselves and their sexuality, leading to a distorted understanding of intimacy and sexual relationships.
Abuse may result in sexualized behaviors that are not connected to a person’s true sexual orientation but are more reflective of the traumatic experiences they endured. A survivor may find themselves engaging in sexual behaviors that feel disconnected from their true desires as a way of coping with trauma or seeking control over a situation where they had none.
Survivors need to navigate confusion or emotional barriers related to their sexuality as they heal from the trauma. Healing from abuse involves reconnecting with one's sexual self in a safe, affirming way, and this process may include coming to terms with the emotional and psychological effects of trauma, but never altering sexual orientation.
How Online EMDR sex therapy in scottsdale, az Can Help Heal Childhood Sexual Trauma
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is one of the most effective, research-backed therapies for healing the wounds of childhood sexual trauma—and it works beautifully online. EMDR helps your brain process traumatic memories so they no longer feel as overwhelming, intrusive, or tied to your present-day sense of safety. Instead of avoiding memories or feeling triggered by them, you can remember what happened without your body reacting as though it’s happening all over again.
For survivors of childhood sexual abuse, EMDR can help:
Reduce the intensity of flashbacks, nightmares, and body memories.
Ease feelings of shame, self-blame, and guilt that are common after abuse.
Rebuild a sense of safety and trust—both with yourself and in relationships.
Address the ways trauma may have shaped your sexual identity, boundaries, and intimacy.
Online EMDR allows you to do this work from the safety and comfort of your own environment. For many survivors, being in a familiar, private space makes it easier to open up, stay grounded, and complete sessions without the added stress of travel or unfamiliar surroundings. With secure, HIPAA-compliant video sessions, we use the same evidence-based techniques as in-person EMDR—whether that’s through eye movements, tactile pulsers, or visual bilateral stimulation—so you get the full benefits of the therapy without leaving home.
Healing from childhood sexual abuse takes courage, and EMDR offers a structured, gentle, and effective way to process what happened so it no longer controls your life. Online sessions make it possible to access this powerful healing tool wherever you are in your journey.
While healing from childhood sexual trauma is a long and sometimes challenging process, it is possible. With the proper support, tools, and a compassionate approach, survivors can regain a sense of control over their lives, heal the wounds of their past, and move toward a future filled with possibility, joy, and self-love.
It’s Safe to Talk About It—Start Sex Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ
Ready to take the next step? The Connection Couch is here to support you on this healing journey. As an entirely online therapy practice based in Scottsdale, AZ, we offer convenient access to specialized sex therapy and EMDR for residents throughout Arizona. My approach is warm, affirming (LGBTQ+ inclusive), and tailored to your comfort level. We believe wholeheartedly that everyone is capable of growth and deserving of pleasure and connection. If you grew up avoiding conversations about sex, consider this your invitation to start a new conversation – one where you are met with understanding, compassion, and the knowledge that there is nothing shameful about seeking a better, more connected life.
Here’s how to begin:
Schedule a free consultation to talk with a Scottsdale-based sex therapist about your goals and needs.
Book your first sex therapy session and start unpacking the beliefs that no longer serve you.
Begin to feel more at ease in your body, your relationships, and your voice.
Affirming & Supportive Sex Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ and Online
At our Scottsdale practice, we offer sex therapy that’s inclusive, respectful, and grounded in compassion for both individuals and couples. Whether you're exploring personal challenges around intimacy or working to deepen connection with a partner, we provide a nonjudgmental space where you can unpack what’s important to you.
Our services also include betrayal recovery therapy for those repairing trust after relationship pain, as well as trauma-informed support for survivors of sexual trauma. Every offering is tailored to your unique journey and designed to foster safe, sustainable healing at a pace that feels right for you.
About the Author: Compassionate Sex Therapist in Scottsdale, AZ
Holly Nelson, Licensed Professional Counselor and founder of The Connection Couch, leads a Scottsdale-based practice dedicated to helping individuals and couples experience more ease and connection in their intimate lives. As she works toward full certification in sex therapy, Holly offers thoughtful, affirming care for those exploring sexual wellness, relationship dynamics, and emotional connection.
Her approach is both nurturing and evidence-informed, drawing from modalities like EMDR and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Holly supports clients in rebuilding trust with their bodies, strengthening emotional closeness, and cultivating intimacy that feels aligned and fulfilling. With a foundation in empathy and curiosity, she creates a therapeutic space where authenticity, safety, and healing can thrive.
Expert Resources from a Trauma-Informed scottsdale, az Sex Therapy Professional
Arizona Attorney General’s Office of Victim Services:
642-542-4911
National Sexual Assault Hotline:
1-800-656-4673
Burke Harris, N. (2018). The deepest well: Healing the long-term effects of childhood adversity. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Grant, R. (2019). Beyond surviving: The final stage in recovery from sexual trauma. Rachel Grant Coaching.
Richmond, H. (2021). Reclaiming pleasure: A sex-positive guide for moving beyond trauma and living a passionate life. New Harbinger Publications.
Siegel, D. J. (Year). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are. Guilford Press.
Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.