Sex Therapy Doesn’t Have To Be Scary: What to Expect in Your First Sex Therapy Session with a Sexual Wellness Therapist in Scottsdale, AZ
Feeling nervous about booking your first sex therapy session is completely normal. Many people delay getting help for months — even years — because talking about sex feels embarrassing, scary, or “too personal.” If that’s you, you’re not alone.
I’m Holly Nelson, LPC, NCC, EMDR-Certified, and a sex therapist (in progress) in Scottsdale, AZ, and I work with people who are exactly where you are right now: anxious, hurting, and wondering if they’ll ever feel connected, confident, and satisfied again.
This guide will walk you through exactly what to expect in your first session so you can take that step with more peace of mind.
Why People Seek Sex Therapy
Sex therapy isn’t just for “serious” problems — it’s for anyone who wants a healthier, happier relationship with intimacy. Some common reasons people find a sex therapist in Scottsdale, AZ include:
Low desire or mismatched libido – One partner wants sex more (or less) than the other.
Performance anxiety – Difficulty getting or maintaining arousal, feeling “stuck in your head,” or worrying about whether you’re doing it “right.”
Painful sex – Conditions like vaginismus, pelvic floor dysfunction, or other pain disorders that make intimacy difficult or scary.
Sexual trauma recovery – Healing after assault, abuse, or unwanted sexual experiences.
Communication struggles – Feeling too embarrassed to talk to your partner about needs, fantasies, or boundaries.
Body image issues – Feeling disconnected from your body, self-conscious, or ashamed.
No matter your reason, the first session is designed to be a safe space where you can share your story without judgment.
The Goal of the First Session
Your first appointment is less about “fixing” things right away and more about building a foundation. Think of it as meeting a guide who is here to walk with you through the process.
My primary goals in the first session are to:
Create safety and comfort. I want you to feel at ease enough to open up at your own pace.
Understand your story. I’ll ask about your concerns, your relationship history, go through a thorough sexual history, and what brought you in.
Identify goals. Together, we’ll clarify what you’d like to get out of therapy — whether it’s pain-free sex, more confidence, deeper connection, or all of the above.
Explain the process. I’ll outline what sex therapy looks like, how EMDR or other modalities can be helpful, and how we’ll track progress.
What Actually Happens in the Room
Many clients worry that the first session will be awkward or invasive. Here’s a step-by-step breakdown so you know exactly what to expect.
1. A Warm Welcome
When you log in online, we’ll start with a casual check-in.
2. Confidentiality and Safety
I’ll review confidentiality so you know what’s private and what situations legally require me to share information (like immediate danger to yourself or others).
3. Gentle Questions About Your Concerns
We’ll explore what brought you in — no rush, no judgment. Some people bring notes to help organize their thoughts, which is completely fine.
You might share:
When the concern started
How it’s affecting your relationship or daily life
Any past attempts to solve the issue
4. History Gathering
I’ll ask about relevant history — medical background, relationship experiences, sexual history (only as much as you feel comfortable sharing), and any mental health treatment you’ve tried.
This helps me see the full picture so I can recommend the best path forward.
5. Goal Setting
Together, we’ll clarify what you want to achieve. Your goals might sound like:
“I want to enjoy sex without pain.”
“I want to stop panicking every time intimacy comes up.”
“We want to feel close again, not just like roommates.”
6. Treatment Roadmap
Before you leave, I’ll explain what therapy might look like — how often we’ll meet, the techniques we might use (like communication exercises, sensate focus, or EMDR), and what progress might feel like along the way.
Why Choose a Sex Therapist in Scottsdale, AZ?
Scottsdale has a unique community — busy professionals, couples balancing careers and kids, individuals navigating dating and intimacy after divorce. A sex therapist here understands the cultural and lifestyle factors that play into intimacy challenges.
Working with a Scottsdale-based sex therapist also means access to a network of trusted local referrals — pelvic floor PTs, medical providers, and wellness specialists who can support your journey if needed.
The Benefits of Online Sex Therapy IN scottsdale, az
For many couples and individuals, one more appointment to drive to can feel overwhelming. That’s why online therapy can be a game-changer.
Advantages of Online Sessions:
Convenience: Meet from your couch, office, or even your parked car during a lunch break.
Consistency: Fewer missed sessions due to traffic, childcare, or scheduling conflicts.
Comfort: Being in your own space can make it easier to open up about vulnerable topics.
Access: Perfect for people who live outside Scottsdale but want a specialized sex therapist’s support.
Research shows online therapy is just as effective as in-person sessions for most sexual and relationship concerns.
Tips to Make Your First Session Easier
Write down your concerns ahead of time so you don’t forget what’s important.
Bring your questions — it’s okay to interview your therapist and make sure it’s a good fit.
Give yourself time after the session to process — maybe take a short walk or journal your thoughts.
Remember: feeling nervous is normal. Most clients feel relief just by taking the first step.
How Sex Therapy Can Change Your Life
Clients often say they wish they had started sooner. Over time, you can expect:
Better communication with your partner about sex and intimacy
Increased confidence in your body and desires
Reduced anxiety or shame around sexual topics
Greater pleasure and satisfaction in your sex life
More connection with yourself and your partner
You deserve intimacy that feels good — emotionally and physically.
How to Book Your First Session
If you’re ready to stop feeling stuck, disconnected, or anxious about sex, I’d love to help. At The Connection Couch, I provide compassionate, evidence-based sex therapy in Scottsdale, as well as convenient online sessions for clients across Arizona.
Taking the first step doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Here’s how you can get started today:
Step 1: Book a free 15-minute consultation through the online scheduler or by emailing: holly@theconnectioncouch.com.
Step 2: Arrange your first sex therapy appointment and get started. Choose a time that works best for you — no phone tag, no waiting list headaches.
Step 3: Begin discovering how sex therapy can transform your life at your own pace, in a safe and supportive environment.
About the Author
Holly is a licensed professional counselor and sex therapist (in training) in Scottsdale, AZ, passionate about helping individuals and couples heal from sexual anxiety, pain, shame, and disconnection. Through EMDR, emotionally focused therapy, and a warm, trauma-informed approach, she helps clients reclaim pleasure, deepen intimacy, and feel fully at home in their bodies. Follow along for evidence-based sexual health and wellness tips on TikTok: @sextherapywithholly