December Desire Dip? How Couples Sex Therapy Helps You Stay Connected Through the Holidays in scottsdale, az
The holiday season is often shown as a magical time filled with joy, cozy moments, and romantic connections. But for many couples, December brings something different: stress, pressure, long to-do lists, and a noticeable drop in desire.
This is sometimes called the “December Desire Dip.” It’s the time of year when couples feel tired, overwhelmed, and less in the mood for intimacy. Nothing is “wrong” with you or your relationship. December is simply a month when your body and mind get pulled in many directions at once.
If you and your partner are feeling less connected, less romantic, or less sexual than usual, you are not alone. Many couples seek couples sex and intimacy therapy during the holiday season because they want to feel close again—but don’t know how.
This blog will help you understand why desire dips happen, how to reconnect, and how a sex therapist can help you find warmth, closeness, and intimacy again—even during the busiest season of the year.
Why Does Desire Dip in December?
Even though the holidays look cheerful on the outside, they can be very stressful on the inside. Many couples notice that their bodies shut down sexually during this month. This is completely normal, and it happens for many reasons.
Here are the biggest causes of holiday desire dips:
1. Too Much Stress
December often brings:
Money worries
Busy calendars
Family visits
Holiday events
Work deadlines
Travel
Stress makes it hard for the body to feel desire. Your brain cannot be anxious and sexual at the same time.
2. Less Privacy
Staying with family or having guests in your home can make intimacy feel harder.
3. Change in Routine
Your normal sleep, eating, or exercise habits may get disrupted. Your body feels the difference.
4. Emotional Pressure
You may feel pressure to create “perfect” holiday experiences, which causes extra stress and less connection.
5. Tiredness
The holidays can be exhausting. When the body is tired, desire naturally drops.
6. Hidden Tension
If you and your partner are already dealing with emotional distance, holiday stress can make it more obvious.
A desire dip does not mean your relationship is broken. It means your body is trying to protect you from overwhelm.
How Couples Sex Therapy Helps During the Holidays
When couples feel disconnected, frustrated, or confused about their intimacy, couples sex and intimacy therapy can help them slow down, understand each other, and build closeness again.
Couples sex therapy is a type of counseling that focuses on:
Communication
Emotional safety
Desire differences
Physical connection
Relationship stress
Beliefs learned from childhood or past partners
A sex therapist helps create a safe space where both partners feel heard, understood, and cared for.
Here’s how sex therapy helps couples during December:
1. It Helps You Understand Your Body and Desire
Many people worry that their sex drive “disappeared.” But in reality, desire is simply impacted by:
Stress
Emotions
Sleep
Hormones
Pressure
Past experiences
A sex therapist helps you understand that desire comes back when the body feels calm and safe, not pressured or rushed.
2. It Helps You Communicate Without Fighting
December can bring up many big feelings. Couples sex therapy helps you talk about:
Feeling unwanted
Feeling pressured
Feeling tired
Feeling disconnected
Feeling afraid of rejection
Worrying about hurting your partner’s feelings
When couples learn how to communicate clearly, intimacy becomes easier and more natural.
3. It Helps You Rebuild Emotional Closeness
Desire grows when emotional safety is strong. When you feel connected, you feel more open to touch, laughter, and closeness.
Sex therapy teaches couples how to:
Slow down
Listen to each other
Share feelings kindly
Build trust
Create moments of closeness
Feel safe again
4. It Helps You Work Through Stress and Shame
Many people carry shame, guilt, or fear around sex—especially during stressful times.
A sex therapist helps you understand:
You’re not broken
Desire comes and goes
Stress affects everyone
Sexual connection can be rebuilt
There is nothing wrong with needing support
This reduces pressure and helps you reconnect with your body in a healthy way.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT): A Key Part of Sex Therapy
One of the most helpful methods used in couples sex and intimacy therapy is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, also known as EFT.
EFT helps couples strengthen their emotional bond by teaching them how to:
Understand their own feelings
Understand each other’s feelings
Respond with more care and less fear
Build trust and comfort
Reduce fighting and shutdowns
Increase closeness and connection
Many couples lose desire because they feel emotionally distant. EFT helps repair that distance by focusing on the “bond” between partners.
Here’s how EFT helps with intimacy:
1. You Learn to Share Feelings Without Judgment
Partners learn how to express needs like:
“I want to feel close.”
“I want to feel safe.”
“I need your reassurance.”
“I miss you.”
This builds understanding and warmth.
2. You Learn How to Support Each Other During Stress
Instead of shutting down or fighting, you learn how to turn toward each other.
3. Desire Grows When Emotional Safety Grows
Once the emotional connection becomes stronger, desire naturally rises again.
EFT + sex therapy creates powerful long-term results.
The Power of Online Sex Therapy During the Holidays
The holidays are busy. Privacy can be limited. Schedules can get tight. That’s why online sex therapy is one of the most helpful options for couples during December.
Online therapy offers:
Privacy from your home
Flexible scheduling
Less stress about travel
Comfort from familiar surroundings
Easier access during busy weeks
The ability to stay connected while traveling
Many couples find they open up more easily online because they feel more relaxed.
Online sex therapy is just as effective as in-person sessions and helps you stay connected even when the season gets busy.
Why Online Couples Sex & intimacy Therapy Works So Well
Online sex therapy helps couples:
Talk openly without pressure
Learn new skills quickly
Build emotional closeness again
Work through desire differences
Reduce stress around intimacy
Practice communication skills in real time
Stay connected even during travel
Some couples meet from separate rooms when they need space to calm down or think clearly—something you cannot easily do in person.
Online sessions can include:
Guided communication
Connection exercises
Support around stress
Desire-building tools
Touch and closeness practices
Emotional safety routines
Mind-body strategies
Online therapy helps you strengthen your relationship at your own pace.
Simple Ways Couples Can Stay Connected During December
Here are small, gentle ways couples can rebuild closeness during the holiday season:
1. Five-Minute Check-Ins
Ask:
How are you feeling?
What do you need today?
2. Slow, Non-sexual Touch
Hold hands
Hug longer
Sit close
Lean on each other
3. Plan One Quiet Moment Each Day
Drink tea together
Watch holiday lights
Sit outside
Share a warm blanket
4. Lower the Pressure
You don’t have to be “in the mood.”
You just have to be present, kind, and open.
5. Remember You’re a Team
Say:
“We’re in this together.”
“I love you.”
“We can slow down.”
Small moments build big connection.
When to Consider Sex Therapy During the Holidays
A sex therapist can help if you or your partner are experiencing:
Different levels of desire
Feeling disconnected
Feeling rejected
Feeling pressured
Avoiding intimacy
Feeling embarrassed
Stress about the holidays
Trouble talking about sex
Emotional distance
Sex therapy is not a sign of failure. It is a sign of care, hope, and strength.
How Couples Sex Therapy in scottsdale, az Helps You Long-Term
Couples sex therapy helps you:
Understand desire
Reduce pressure
Build emotional connection
Improve communication
Increase pleasure
Create safety
Rebuild trust
Feel like a team again
You do not have to wait until things feel “bad.” Therapy can help you stay close all year long.
You Deserve Connection All Year Long
December is a great month to reconnect with yourself, your partner, and your own pleasure. You don’t need to wait until holiday stress makes things even harder. Healing can start now.
At The Connection Couch, I offer sex therapy in Scottsdale, AZ, trauma-informed couples therapy, and EMDR for both individuals and couples. All services are also available online, so you can get support from home.
Step 1: Book a Free 15-Minute Call
Use the online scheduler or email holly@theconnectioncouch.com to set up your free consultation.
Step 2: Choose a Time That Works for You
Pick a session time that fits your life. No stress, no hassle, and no rush.
Step 3: Start Your Journey Toward Connection
You get to go at your own pace. Sex therapy can help you feel more confident, calm, and connected in your relationships and in your body.
If you’ve been searching for a “sex therapist near me” in Scottsdale, AZ, I would love to meet you.
I also support clients who are working through:
Sexual trauma
PTSD
My goal is simple: to create a safe place where you feel seen, supported, and hopeful again.
About the Author
Holly Nelson is a licensed professional counselor and sex therapist (in progress) in Scottsdale, AZ. She helps individuals and couples build intimacy that feels safe, joyful, and deeply connected. Through EMDR, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and simple, practical tools, she helps clients move past shame and fear so they can enjoy pleasure again.
Follow Holly for evidence-based sexual wellness tips on TikTok: @sextherapywithholly.
She has been featured in major publications such as HuffPost, Stylist’s Strong Women, Well Beings News, and VoyagePhoenix.
Beyond Scottsdale, Holly also serves Paradise Valley, Phoenix, Tucson, Queen Creek, Gilbert, Salt Lake City, Park City, and Alpine, Utah.