It’s Not Just in Your Head: How Mood Disorders Impact Desire and Intimacy, for Men and Women, and What Sex Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ Can Do About It
Have you ever thought, “What’s wrong with me?” because you just can’t seem to get in the mood? You feel tired all the time, your partner seems frustrated, and the tension is starting to grow. Maybe you've tried to fake it, push through it, or pretend everything is fine, but deep down, it feels like you're broken.
You’re not broken.
What you’re experiencing may be connected to something deeper: your mental health. Mood disorders like depression, anxiety, or even chronic stress can have a huge impact on your desire for intimacy. And when that happens, it can feel like a heavy weight sitting in the middle of your relationship and on your chest.
Let’s talk about it—and more importantly, let’s talk about what you can do to start feeling like yourself again.
How Mood Disorders Affect Your Sex Drive
Mood disorders aren’t just about “feeling sad” or “being worried.” They affect your brain, your body, and how you respond to the world around you, including how you respond to your partner.
Here’s how they can show up:
You feel mentally and physically exhausted all the time.
The idea of sex feels overwhelming or like just one more chore.
You struggle to feel present or connected during intimacy.
You avoid sex because you're afraid of letting your partner down.
You argue with your partner because they feel rejected, and you feel guilty.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many people silently carry these struggles, unsure of how to explain them or what to do about them.
It’s not laziness. It’s not selfishness. It’s not a lack of love.
It’s often depression. Or anxiety. Or trauma. Or a combination of all three.
It’s Not Just in Your Head—It’s in Your Nervous System
When you're struggling with a mood disorder, your body is often in survival mode. That means it's focused on getting through the day, not on pleasure, connection, or desire.
Your brain may send signals like:
“You don’t deserve this.”
“You’re too tired.”
“You’re going to disappoint them.”
“What’s the point?”
Even when you want to connect with your partner, those signals can shut everything down before it even begins. You might feel guilty for saying “not tonight” again. You might worry your partner is going to leave. You might miss feeling close, but not know how to get back there.
This cycle can be painful for both you and your partner. And if you grew up in a family where sex was shameful or never talked about, it can feel even harder to untangle what’s going on.
The Impact on Relationships
Mood disorders don’t just affect the person living with them. They affect the relationship, too. You and your partner might be arguing more. Maybe you're pulling away emotionally. Maybe your partner doesn’t understand what you’re going through, and you don’t have the words to explain it.
The pressure to “fix it” can become overwhelming. And yet, the more pressure there is, the harder it becomes to feel desire.
Sometimes people think, “If we just had more sex, we’d feel connected again.” But the truth is, connection often needs to come first, then desire follows.
That’s where sex therapy comes in.
How online Sex Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ Can Help
At The Connection Couch, we understand how complicated this all feels. You want to feel close to your partner again, but you’re stuck in survival mode. You want to want sex, but you just… don’t.
Sex therapy isn’t just about sex. It’s about helping you feel safe, seen, and connected to your partner and to yourself.
Here’s how therapy can help:
We explore the deeper emotional roots of what’s getting in the way. Depression, anxiety, trauma, grief—it all matters.
We help you and your partner communicate better, so you don’t feel like you're letting each other down.
We teach tools for nervous system regulation, so your body starts to feel safe enough for desire to return.
We normalize what you're going through, so you stop blaming yourself for something that isn’t your fault.
If you’re carrying shame, fear, or exhaustion around sex and intimacy, you don’t have to carry it alone. There’s hope—and there’s help.
You Are Not Alone—and You Deserve Support-Sex therapy in Scottsdale, az
Here’s how to start:
Schedule a free consultation with a Scottsdale-based therapist to discuss your goals and concerns.
Book your first sex therapy session and begin learning strategies that nurture safety and connection.
Take steps toward regulating your nervous system with the guidance of compassionate, specialized care.
You deserve a sex life that feels connected, not pressured. You deserve to feel wanted and to want again—not because you have to, but because you get to.
If your mental health has been making sex and intimacy feel impossible, it’s not because you’re broken. It’s because your body and brain have been doing their best to protect you. With the right support, you can begin to shift out of survival mode and into connection.
At The Connection Couch, we offer sex therapy for individuals and couples in Scottsdale, AZ, who are ready to break the shame cycle, heal from the inside out, and rediscover pleasure in a way that feels safe and authentic.
Contact us today to schedule a consultation and discover how we can support you.
You can also follow us on
TikTok (@sextherapywithholly) for more tips and support,
or email us at holly@theconnectioncouch.com.
You are not too much. You are not broken. You're just human, and you’re worthy of healing.
Inclusive & Compassionate Sex Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ and Online
At our Scottsdale-based practice, we provide sex therapy that is affirming, respectful, and rooted in genuine care for both individuals and couples. Whether you’re navigating personal struggles with intimacy or seeking to strengthen your relationship, we offer a supportive space to explore your needs without judgment.
In addition to sex therapy, we also specialize in betrayal recovery counseling for couples healing from broken trust, as well as trauma-informed care for survivors of sexual trauma. Each service is personalized to your experiences and focused on creating safety, resilience, and meaningful growth at a pace that honors your journey.
About the Author: Sexual wellness Therapist in Scottsdale, AZ
Holly Nelson is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Scottsdale, Arizona, specializing in trauma-informed sex therapy. With training in EMDR, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, and a wide variety of sex therapy practices. Holly is passionate about helping individuals and couples create sex lives free from anxiety, shame, and pressure—so they can truly enjoy connection, pleasure, and intimacy.